I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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