So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
And then he peed in my hair
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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