You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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