I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize