My friends, they love my intelligence
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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