Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The best revenge is premature balding
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
