She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Still dying that you shit outside
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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