Don't you send me to vm
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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