Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think people are normalizing furries
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
