This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
