ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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