so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
