You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
