That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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