Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
