I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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