Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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