I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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