Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
