wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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