I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
