so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
