just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
