he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
