is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize