Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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