So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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