Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
