He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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