OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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