bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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