I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
