who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
