I have demons in me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
