Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
