new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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