Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
