i already hear my dad disowning me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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