hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
