I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
