If that was your dad, he is hot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
