"it" just moved
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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