If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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