That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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