i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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