Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
