You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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