I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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