Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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