I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
