oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
