My first STD was from a foam party
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my liver is dry heaving
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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