OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
