I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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