Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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