Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
