is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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