Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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