Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
