My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
